Rats

This is a guest blog by Ansley Howe. She compiled a blog with a few of our favorite rat stories. Hope you enjoy. Just in case you don't already know how to access Ansley's blog, it's found at http://howeareyou.blogspot.com.

"Sarah," I say one hot February morning, "We must do something about the rats. Every time I work the nightshift I see rats, and last night there were five different times when I saw them. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the same one. They are in the ceiling, too!"

The hospital is very small. It is infested.

Sometimes we startle new volunteers with our various tales of rat encounters. The following are few of the memorable rodent experiences.

1.

One night Jason was giving an IV medication to an isolation patient who was waiting for tuberculosis test results. The man was a classic picture of tuberculosis and AIDS: small, wasted limbs, hollow face, clothing so big it looked like he was dressed in gowns for a Christmas pageant.

Suddenly, a rat ran down the windowsill and leapt onto the man's mattress. Startled, Jason jumped back. This sudden motion startled the rat, which dove for the nearest haven: the patient's pant leg.

As the patient began hollering, another isolation patient from the next bed jumped up, grabbed his IV bag, and ran to the rescue. He started grabbing for the rat shape that scurried frantically in the trousers of the unfortunate man.

The rat ran up the tunnel of the patient's pants. Soon both patients were swatting madly at the rat. The rat went up one leg and down the other. Other family members in the room came over to watch and add their vocal excitement to the scene. Jason could barely finish giving the medication for all the swatting, shouting, and din.

The rat finally escaped the pants trap and disappeared below the bed.

2.

Another time Sarah was working the night shift and assisting a patient to prepare for surgery the next day. She was in a small exam room with the patient and his two brothers, doing paperwork and telling the group how much the operation would cost.

Another nurse was working down the hall where he was finishing up vital signs.

A large rat ran out from the corner of the room.

"Shut the door!" yelled Sarah. She knew they would have a better chance of getting him if the space was enclosed.

The occupied nurse down the hall was surprised to hear the exam room door slam.

One of the patient's brothers took off his heavy shoe and began throwing it at the rat. There was a loud scraping of furniture as they tried to prevent the creature from hiding under desk and chairs. The shoe clonked against the wall, then was picked up and hurled again in the direction of the rat.

The other nurse heard all the commotion and was concerned for Sarah's safety. He had no idea what was going on, except for hearing yelling and banging and thumping coming out of the exam room.

He assumed Sarah had been telling the family members about paying for the surgery, and they had gotten upset and attacked her. He ran to the exam room and tried to pry open the door.

Sarah, not knowing who it was, yelled, "Don't open the door! Don't let the rat escape!"

The confused nurse was surprised as the door was slammed shut in his face.

The rat was finally captured and escorted off hospital property, and Sarah laughed with her coworker as they smoothed out the rumples of misunderstanding.

3.

One night, as Kristin prepared to give the midnight medications, she found the door to the nurse's station was closed. That door is never closed. Kristin heard some commotion inside. When she tried to open the door, Enoch, a fellow nurse, pulled it shut again, with some force.

Kristin was quite surprised.

"What do you need?" asked Enoch, "Do you want your bag?"

She replied, "No, I want the charts so I can give medications."

She heard a little shuffling around, and then Enoch opened the door a little bit. Kristin peered in to see Enoch bending over a limp furry object in the dark.

Then he said, "This rat, he's annoying me a lot!"

Kristin watched in horror as Enoch started beating the poor brown rat with some large hard object.

He beat the rat to death in front of her very eyes. She was mortified.

Then Enoch proceeded to flick it across the floor all the way down the hall and out the door.

4.

I cornered a huge guinea-pig sized rat behind the autoclave machine a few nights ago. Koumabas, one of the hospital pharmacists, came around the corner in the dark and asked me what I was doing, as I shooed the trapped rat from one side of the autoclave to the other.

"Koumabas!" I said, "The rat is cornered behind the autoclave, now what should I do?" I hated to just walk away after the chase, but I wasn't about to try and grab it.

"Well." said Koumabas. He always has something comical to say, and the funny thing is that he is usually actually being serious. "Maybe if we corner him here until the morning then Abel will arrive and we can turn on the autoclave and burn him."

Thank you, Koumabas. That's a practical idea. Let's stand here in the dark for eight hours until Abel arrives just so we can burn the rat.

As there were IV's to start and baby bottles to be washed, I ended up just leaving the rat to escape on its own. I released him from impending death in the autoclave at the hand of said Abel.